Every Wednesday, we read from One Day at a Time in Al Anon.
Today's reading was about how some of us have lost hope before coming into the program. And how important it is to believe something is possible.
It reminded me of U2's song, "Walk On." Bono sings about what great things can happen, if we believe in them before we see them in real life.
"You're Packing a Suitcase for A Place None of Us Has Been. A place that has to be believed to be seen."
Don't forget your toothbrush.
Every Tuesday, we read from the Blueprint for Progress. Today we read from the chapter on Values.
"Some of us have spent so much time and energy coping with alcoholism that we aren't sure what we believe. We may have pushed our values aside in order to keep peace in our alcoholic home. We might have even ignored what we believe is right and acted contrary to our beliefs. For example, if we feel it is morally wrong to cheat on our income taxes, we might still have signed an inaccurate joint return, if the alcoholic insisted, to avoid conflict. Perhaps we found a joke offensive but we didn't speak up, fearful of looking like we didn't belong with the crowd.
In Al-Anon, we are learning what our principles truly are, and how to practice them in all our thoughts and actions. Acting with integrity based on our own value system can be an important way to take care of ourselves." -- P. 71.
I felt guilty reading this this morning and I feel guilty re-reading it 12 hours later. Maybe guilty is not the right word. Uncomfortable with myself is a better way of explaining how I feel. Today I told someone some stuff about someone else. I'm not sure why I did it. To get closer to him maybe? I'm not sure. But I felt it was inappropriate and showed me in a bad light - to him and to myself. I think what happened has to do with values. What are mine, exactly?
I don't know. That makes me feel uncomfortable. I also feel some shame today. Here's the wife of U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama on the subject of values:
I've been neglecting this blog since I'm back in intensive French language school. I'm on the Learn-French-in-20 Years-or-Less Plan. So sorry for the lack of updates. But we're back.
Every Monday, we read from Courage to Change. Today's reading started like this:
"I'm not particularly handy with tools. Recently, a friend demonstrated to me that oiling a saw before using it makes it work more smoothly, whether it's cutting metal or wood. Later it occurred to me that learning to oil a saw is a little like learning to apply the Al-Anon program." - P. 317
The reading made me think of the Tin Man in "The Wizard of Oz." He needed oil so as not to rust. I was starting to rust before I got into the Al-Anon program four years ago. It is the oil in my life. It helps me dance more through life.
