Step Eight -- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
We took part of the morning meeting on the road today -- to Majorca, Spain -- an island in the Mediterranean.
Wherever you go, there you are. The same thing is true of working the steps.
You can work them from wherever you are -- and the sometimes where you are inspires a new way to work them.
Today, this GM put THE WORLD on top of the list of people harmed. Sometimes when traveling, this GM forgets to enjoy the surroundings and gets bogged down in the hassles of airports, taxis and hotel rooms - not bothering to treasure the people met along the way. This GM forgets to be grateful for the chance to travel to a beautiful place like Majorca, all mountains and sea and olive trees and vineyards.
Today, this GM had to wait at the Majorca airport for about an hour for a transfer to the hotel. Rather than sweat it, the GM thanked one of the drivers for the cappucino he brought over and told him the wait was no problem. New behavior! Wonder if it'll last.
Check out this video from Amnesty International:
It's a visual metaphor for progressing toward mastery of Black Belt Al-Anon.
Today's reading is about detaching and setting boundaries to better protect yourself.
We thought, how do you do that if it doesn't come naturally?
This Grateful Member prefers to carry a small, beautifully-decorated little axe and detach with it whenever the mood strikes. But even though the axe is relatively compact, it weighs a lot. Perhaps there is a better way?
We're heading to Mallorca tomorrow, pulling a geographic, our second-favorite way of detaching after the axe. But perhaps there is a better way to detach - and stay intact ourselves?
Perhaps. In the meantime, don't try this method at home. It is not Conference Approved.
We may have to purchase a red velvet rope and import a bouncer named Guido to stand outside the morning meeting because the number of people fighting to get in is reaching critical mass. Somehow, three Grateful Members of the female persuasion managed to get seats and we had a wonderful meeting.
This despite the dreaded book we read from every Wednesday, One Day at at a Time, ghost-written, we think by St. Pollyanna the Pious. Did we mention this is not our favorite piece of Conference Approved Literature?
Incredibly, today's reading did not annoy the Grateful Members, it inspired us. The reading was about the "high bar" we set for ourselves and the "rage" we feel when we think we are not accomplishing what we should. The reading urged us sometimes NOT to think big -- if it's going to hurt us in the long run. It suggested celebrating what's small - like our little morning meeting. Because what's big and what's small is sort of relative, is it not?
We were planning to review the questions re COMMITMENT in Blueprint for Progress, Al-Anon's fourth step inventory workbook that we read today. Questions like:
"How do I follow through on commitments that I make?"
"If I have to break a commitment, how do I do it?"
But then something odd happened. We looked up the word "commit" on Google. What came up were reports of 38-year-old actor Owen Wilson's reported suicide attempt in Los Angeles on Sunday. As in "Wilson reportedly tried to commit suicide by slashing his wrists and taking an overdose of pills."
Wilson is one of our favorite actors. He's mainly in comedies, like "Wedding Crashers," Zoolander," "Shanghai Noon" and the remake of "Starsky and Hutch." He epitomizes a silly-breezy-cool LA surfer dude. Apparently Wilson the man is not so laid back. He has a history of depression and spent some time in rehab at Hazelden seven years ago.
The topic of guilt came up today when talking about commitment. And how bad we feel when we don't follow through.
But sometimes it's good when a commitment is broken. Get well soon, Owen.
Who knew? There are actually Al-Anon jokes...
"So, a priest and a Rabbi and an Al-Anon find themselves in hell. They meet up with Lucifer who asks them why they're there. So, the Rabbi says he got hooked on pork and couldn't stop eating the forbidden food. The priest says he got involved with a young woman and violated his vow of celibacy. The Al-Anon says, "I don't know what you're talking about. It's not hot, and I'm not here."
Today's reading from Courage to Change is all about coming clean. It says, in effect, You go to Al-Anon meetings, you work the steps, but are you still trying to control people?
As this UnGrateful Member was riding a bike to the meeting this morning, the driver of a car wagged a finger when he saw the UnGrateful member heading in what he perceived as the wrong direction down a one-way street. This UnGrateful Member wagged a finger back and would have liked to have done more than wagged a finger.
"As I continued to attend meetings, I began to see that I wasn't really admitting my powerlessness or I wouldn't keep trying to control everyone and everything around me..... Today I'm so glad to have a patient God, so that when i finally say, "Not my will but Your will," God steps in and sorts things out in ways I never would have imagine." *
A patient God? That's the kind of sickly sweet phrase that annoys this Grateful Member. Too much "God' talk in general can irritate this Grateful Member. But as another Grateful Member said at today's meeting, "The one thing I really like about the program is -- take what you like and leave the rest."
This Grateful Member is powerless over what is annoying. Now, that's really annoying.
How do we gather the courage to change? Only if we think it will do us good.
From Seth's Blog, one of the top 20 most popular blogs in the world:
http://sethgodin.typepad.com
FOLLOW THROUGH
Why do you need to follow through so much on a tennis or golf swing? After all, the ball is long gone.
Why do you have to honor a money back guarantee with a former customer who is never going to buy from you again (and it's six years later)?
Why do you have to reinvest and retrain an existing employee who needs some guidance when it would just be quicker and easier to hire someone new?
I think the reason is the same in all three cases. It's not because the thing you do at the end of your swing matters. It's because it's a slippery slope.
If you know that the last two inches of your follow through don't matter, then you'll start slowing down at three inches, or even four, and suddenly it does matter. If you draw the line on money back guarantees you'll keep sliding backwards, bit by bit, until it does matter. If you're quick to fire the employee who needs a lot of help, you'll be quicker with those that need just a little, and then, pretty soon, it's a very different place to work, isn't it?
Obsessing about the last inch of follow through ensures that the important parts of what you do get just as much (if not more) commitment.
Bloodied and bruised Amy Winehouse stands by husband who 'saved her life'
After fleeing rehab twice in a week, photos of a bruised, bloodied and battered Amy Winehouse and her equally beaten-up husband Blake Civil-Fielder are splashed all over the Daily Mail in the U.K. (Click on above link.) Amy also texted a series of messages to U.S.-based blogger Perez Hilton (www.perezhilton.com) defending her husband and claiming he didn't beat her up.
Check out this fine blog: http://fine-anon.blogspot.com
It's called:
"I'm just F.I.N.E.
Telling about what it's like to work on recovering from the affects of alcoholism through Al-Anon"
She's got the lyrics to a great Edie Brickell song, "What I Am," as her latest post:
I'm not aware of too many things,
but I know what I know if you know what I mean.
Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box.
Religion is the smile on a dog.
I'm not aware of too many things,
but I know what I know if you know what I mean.
Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep.
What I am is what I am.
Are you what you are - or what?
