1-29-07 --- Would You Rather Be Happy - Or Right?

Every Monday, we read from Courage to Change. Today's reading was a little weird, I thought. And as readers of this blog know, I usually only have issues with the dreaded One Day at a Time, not Courage to Change.

Today's reading began like this:

"I recently had an argument with someone I care about. He had made, all too publicly, a few remarks to me about my weight, and I was less than pleased. Later, when I told him my feelings were hurt, he insisted he had done nothing wrong - that what he had said was true, so I shouldn't take offense.....How often have I justified my own unkindness, or my interfering where I had no business, with that very argument? Too many times, especially during my alcoholic loved one's drinking days. After all, I claimed, I was right: Alcohol was ruining our lives, and it was my duty to say so - again, and again and again.

I am letting go of my certainty about what other people should do. In Al-Anon, I heard someone put it this way: "I can be right or I can be happy." I don't have to make anyone over in my image. With help, I can live, and let live." --

Here's my only problem with this reading:  Commenting on someone's weight PUBLICLY merits swift and severe punishment. You have a right to be MAD when some jerk comments on your weight publicly. Period.

That said, I am all about the "I can be right or I can be happy" statement. It's taken four years in the program to get this concept. My former motto was "I can be happy when everyone understands how right I am."

Now I see the big picture. My life works better when I see the forest and not just the trees. I'm giving up the instant gratification of telling people they're wrong - and in some cases blowing the situation up. Now I'm keeping more of a lid on - and my life and myself more intact.

It's not always easy - because so many people are still so wrong, and I'm still so right!

But I like being HAPPY!